She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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