I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
