That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
