Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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