Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
