you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Randomize
