You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Let's paint friendship bongs
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
