oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
