I just cut my nipple shaving
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
