They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Can I color on your dick again?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
