we have officially lost it.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
