I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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