yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
