who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
