talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
