i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
