dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
