make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
