lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
