mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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