I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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