hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
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