peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
