He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
