Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
