don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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