Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
