Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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