Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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