What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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