I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
my being single is dangerous.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
