YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
