I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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