i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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