he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
