the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
