I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
