thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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