I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
