I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
