We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
