just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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