she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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