So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
