I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
