There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Randomize
