Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
