ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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