I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
