i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
